Tag: sex coaching program

So many people call us searching for the right sex coaching training. As teachers and former students of multiple programs, we understand how important fit is since no program is perfect for everyone. There are more and more programs out there and it can be really hard to find the differences between them just by reading a website. As we guide people through this process, we have gained unique insight into what questions people ask as well as the ones they often overlook.

Here are some questions to ask, when you need to find the right program for you:

What is my philosophy and does the program reflect this?

For example, do I believe that verbal coaching and giving advice works best or do I believe in the importance of hands-on, interpersonal work? If you are interested in giving advice you can take a talk coaching training. If you are interested in a relational approach you should consider a training that offers in-person practice and experiential exercises.

Is it only a sex coaching program or does it include relationships?

If you feel like you have a solid grounding in helping clients navigate the complex dynamics of relationships, then a program that focuses primarily on sex might work for you. For some people, these programs feel detached from underlying issues and they need a more integrated approach that addresses the interplay of sexual and emotional connection.

What is my learning style and what are the tools and the learning methodology offered?

If you have an easier time learning at your own pace in the privacy of your own home, you might consider an online training. If you need a higher level of embodiment or interactive learning, it will be better to do in person, group learning.

Do I want to be able to see clients right away?

Some people don’t realize that with the right intensive program they will have the confidence and tools to see clients right away and start earning money while getting ongoing training to learn and build on their skills.

Will it be enough to take a year-long training?

The short answer is no, it is never enough because even the longest, most in-depth program will only give you a foundation, but you there will always be so much more to learn once you get out in the field and start working with people. If it is the right training that offers practice and theory, it will be enough for you to start your practice.

Will I have a place to keep growing?

After you finish your initial training it is your job to keep growing and sharpening your skills as a professional. A good program will offer ongoing classes and supervision so you can keep learning – ideally, you can do this while already seeing clients.

Is community important to me?

Finding a program that has an emphasis on learning from your peers and offering a continued network of support is crucial for most folks to have continued success. You are looking to work with people and who you surround yourself with matters. Each of the people in your training represents an opportunity to grow your personal and professional network. We have watched the Somatica community grow into a thriving resource full of mutual referrals, as well as a place for professional and emotional support.

Do I need letters after my name?

For some people having an MA, MSW, MFT, PhD, etc. after their names gives them a sense that they deserve to do the work they are doing. For others, these letters may be something they perceive as important to impress others either from a marketing standpoint or to feel acknowledged by their relatives etc. There is no right answer here – we ourselves both love higher education! At the same time, it’s important to understand the difference between getting a degree and attending a professional training. Both can be amazing for personal and intellectual development. Just make sure if you want to work with clients that you are going to get a full set of useful tools to work with instead of just a theoretical education.

More often than you might think, couples get in long-term relationships who have very different sexual desires. This is one of the many reasons that sex can cool down after the honeymoon period and, when couples have very different desires, it can lead to hurt, misunderstanding and a sexless marriage or relationship. When we work with couples, we always encourage them to have a Hottest Sexual Movie conversation. These conversations have some very specific rules to follow and you can help your clients navigate through them. Before talking about the rules, we want to make an important distinction between Hottest Sexual Movies and fantasies.

A Hottest Sexual Movie consists of the experiences people actually want to have. In addition to this, they may have a set of fantasies that they use to increase their arousal during sex or masturbation but that they don’t actually want to enact in the world. For example, a person can fantasize about group sex but have no interest in actually experiencing it. Fantasies that people want to think about but not experience may exist totally outside of their sexual relationship or they might express these fantasies to a partner in hopes of sharing this part of themselves and gaining acceptance and mutual arousal. For example, if your clients are playing with dominant/submissive dynamics they may want their partner to punish them for having this fantasy. Conversely, they may just want to use it for their own arousal and not share it. When you invite your clients into a Hottest Sexual Movie conversation, you will want to make the distinction between fantasies they might have that they don’t want to enact and those they do. Then, invite them to share both of these categories if they’d like.

You will need to let your clients know that sharing and teaching their hottest sexual movie will take self-awareness, conscious communication and non-judgmental acceptance. It will also require the ability to know and share boundaries and be willing to learn instead of feeling like they already need to know. Finally, it takes a whole lot of creativity. One word of caution, when it comes to sharing past experiences they’ve had with other lovers, be aware that this could trigger hurt. Help them be especially careful not to compare their partner to someone else with whom they’ve had amazing sex. Trust us, they will never forget this.

To help them describe their movies, ask them to picture the character(s), the action, the setting, and especially what they want to feel. While it is a beautiful gift to really dive into the role of guest star in a partner’s movie, let your clients know that they also have a right to decide which parts they are ready to try now, which parts they might want to add later, and which parts they may never do at all. Let them know that they might have more than one movie or might want to begin in one and move into another one. For example, a romantic seduction scenario may be what gets them started but when it comes to actually getting them off, more passionate, animalistic sex fits the bill. Sometimes the process of articulating these desires can open up new avenues of play and seduction.

Let your clients know that whatever they decide to share in as a result of these conversations is not set in stone. Negotiating sexual and relationship choices is an ongoing conversation that partners can always revisit and amend. In our book, Making Love Real, we go into greater depth as to how the process of discovering, sharing and finally acting out a hottest sexual movie can change relationships in lasting and amazing ways. If you’d like to find out more about how to coach your clients into fantastic sex and satisfying relationships you might want to check out the Somatica Core Training or attend a Free Intro to Somatica.