Here are resources and a reading list which will help guide you philosophically and practically in becoming a Somatica Sex Coach. If you are taking the Somatica Training for personal growth, read the required reading. If you are serious about making this your profession, read both the required and recommended reading.
By Brené Brown
With continued bravery and tenacity, Brene Brown takes us on another journey to help us face one of our most challenging human emotions, Shame. She helps us understand the difference in the ways that shame arises for men and women, and helps us learn the 4 steps to shame resilience so we can move beyond shame’s crippling repression to a more joyful, expressive and pleasurable life.
By Stan Tatkin
Wired for Love offers insight into how our brain works when we are calm vs. distressed as well as a good introduction to attachment styles and differing attachment needs. Please read chapters 2-4 only.
By Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman
Coming Together is an in-depth exploration into what turns you on and why. Understanding these Core Desires is the key to overcoming sexless marriage, regaining the spark, and solving low desire and ED. Have the sex you’ve always fantasized about!
By Jack Morin
Jack Morin presents a pleasure-focused, non-judgmental approach to understanding our deepest turn-ons and fantasies. Morin helps us all to uncover and understand our “core erotic theme”, one of the surest pathways we have found to deeply knowing exactly what you are looking for from sex and intimacy, from there you can learn how to communicate about it and share it with a partner or partners.
By Danielle Harel Ph.D and Celeste Hirschman M.A.
Making Love Real will help you take both your sex life and relationship to the next level. This guide offers a comprehensive view of emotional and sexual relationship dynamics as well as practical tools for lasting transformation. Making Love Real goes beyond hot tips and tricks to help you address your foundational human needs so that you can create a deeply trusting, passionate and sustainable relationship. Read more.
By Alain de Botton
Alain de Botton shares the story of a couple who take the journey from idealized romanticism and the hope of perfect fulfillment to the realities of love in long-term marriage. His writing is an amazing combination of a fictional story and a teaching manual. Read it closely and you will learn how to empathize across differences, share and listen to feelings, and understand the inner workings of the erotic mind.
Privilege, Oppression and Trauma Empowerment
By Resmaa Menakem
In My Grandmother’s Hands, Resmaa Menakem offers a body-based description of racialized trauma, which serves to explain the daily experiences that result from a history of trauma. This book elucidates the long-term effects of oppression, helps us understand the inner workings of trauma in general, and offers tools for an embodied journey of trauma healing.
Sex Across the Gender, Sexuality, and Ability Spectrum
By Emily Nagoski, Ph.D
Nagoski offers an in-depth look at the social messages as well as the science around women’s sexuality. Nagoski gives women permission and a wealth of information foundational to the exploration of their own sexual desires and physiological responses.
By Celeste Hirschman and Danielle Harel
Whether you are single, dating or in a relationship, this book will show you how to attract sexual desire from women and bring them to the heights of their erotic and orgasmic potential. You will find your personal power, clarify who you are and what you want in your life, and have mind-blowing sex and passionate connections with women. Read more.
By D. Merilee Clunis, Ph.D
Lesbian Couples is a comprehensive guide to navigating relationships between women who love women. It deals with communication, sexuality, trauma, and addiction, much of which is applicable to anyone. It also covers homophobia, coming out, and family issues particularly applicable to the lesbian community.
By Rik Isensee
In Love Between Men, Rik Isensee covers the challenges that gay men face in creating healthy emotionally and sexually intimate relationships. He talks about the challenges of homophobia and male gender socialization and offers practical tools to resolve conflict and deepen sexual connection.
By Juno Roche
Queer Sex is a series of interviews that offers insight into trans and non-binary people’s journey’s around their bodies and sexual expression. The deconstruction of sex needing to look a particular way offers insights for anyone wanting to have a more free, creative, and fulfilling sex life.
By Cory Silverberg
The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability: For All of Us Who Live with Disabilities, Chronic Pain, and Illness is a thorough and sex-positive book, which challenges the myths around disability and sexuality and offers in-depth guidance on how to create a thriving sexual life for people across the ability spectrum.
Edited by Tristan Taormino
The Ultimate Guide to Kink is a textbook on the fundamentals of risk-aware consensual kink and BDSM, with plenty of illustrations, exercises, and references, as well as a collection of important, varied perspectives from renowned practitioners, including Patrick Califia, Midori, and Mollena Williams. The twenty essays cover skills and techniques (such as bondage, impact play, rough sex, and more), fantasy and role-playing, power exchange dynamics, and personal experiences in the scene.
By Tristan Taormino
For couples considering some form of non-monogamous relationship, Tristan Taramino has put together a very practical, straightforward guide on styles of non-monogamy, as well as ideas about how you negotiate your relationship needs, desires and boundaries.
By Paul Joannides
If you are looking for a fun, hip, and detailed guide to pleasure for men, women, and couples, look no further. The Guide to Getting it On has it all. It is a must-have for every household who is interested in keeping their sex life hot.
It is essential to read at least one book that talks overtly about women’s and men’s physiology and sexual pleasure so you have lots of ideas to offer your clients.
By Esther Perel
Finally, a book on affairs that deals with them in an adult manner. In the State of Affairs, Esther Perel points out that affairs have always been a part of the social fabric. However, they are such a charged issue, we never take the time to look under the surface of condemnation to see the human complexity of why people have affairs and how people feel who have been betrayed. She also gives many suggestions for how to face them, heal from them, and, sometimes even have stronger relationships as a result.
My New Gender Workbook: A Step-by-Step Guide to Achieving World Peace Through Gender Anarchy and Sex Positivity
By Kate Bornstein
With the journey through My New Gender Workbook, Kate Bornstein offers all of us an opportunity to take a critical look at the way gender socialization and gender norms have constricted our self-expression. By exploding traditional ideas about gender, power, and sexuality, she invites us to claim our humanness and celebrate our identity, not as it is supposed to be, but as it truly is.
By Betty Dodson
Betty Dodson, the godmother of masturbation, was one of the first writers to ever take on this truly taboo topic with such joyful and enthusiastic verve. In Sex for One, she talks about her women’s masturbation circles and all of the power and well-being that can come from it. She teaches techniques on how to become orgasmic through clitoral stimulation and we have incorporated many of her teachings into our coaching practice.
By Christopher Ryan
Have you ever wondered if humans were meant to be monogamous? In this fascinating read, Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha make a research-based case for how our prehistoric beginnings set us up to live a more non-monogamous life. If you are interested in exploring different relationship styles this book is for you.
By Esther Perel
Perel talks about the inherent tension in long-term relationships between domesticity and passion. While commitment, trust, closeness and excellent communication are the foundations of sharing a life, home, and children with another, passion needs distance, barriers, a synapse over which to jump in order for relationships to stay hot and exciting.
By Bessel van der Kolk M.D
In The Body Keeps the Score van der Kolk offers an important window into the embodied experience of trauma, offering us empathy and a deeper understanding of trauma’s devastating effects. As an insider in the world of psychiatry, he challenges medicalized and cognitive approaches to trauma treatment and offers an important guide to those treatments that help traumatized clients reconnect with freedom and safety in their bodies.
By Marshall B. Rosenberg
If you want to make your relationship better overnight, begin using the communication techniques offered in this book. When you learn how to really listen to each other, to take responsibility for your feelings and needs and for communicating them and when you learn to truly empathize with your partner, everything becomes easier!