Resources

Here are resources and a reading list which will help guide you philosophically and practically in becoming a Somatica Sex Coach. If you are taking the Core Training for personal growth, read the required reading. If you are serious about making this your profession, read both the required and recommended reading.

Resources for First Module

Shame

Men, Women and Worthiness: The Experience of Shame and the Power of Being Enough

By Brené Brown

With continued bravery and tenacity, Brene Brown takes us on another journey to help us face one of our most challenging human emotions, Shame. She helps us understand the difference in the ways that shame arises for men and women, and helps us learn the 4 steps to shame resilience so we can move beyond shame’s crippling repression to a more joyful, expressive and pleasurable life.

Attachment

The Wikipedia Entry on Attachment – you are welcome to read it all but you are only required to read everything up to History (ending reading at Attachment in Adults).


Wired for Love

By Stan Tatkin

Wired for Love offers insight into how our brain works when we are calm vs. distressed as well as a good introduction to attachment styles and differing attachment needs. Please read chapters 2-4 only.

 

 

Resources for Second Module

Core Erotic Theme

The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment

By Jack Morin

Jack Morin presents a pleasure-focused, non-judgmental approach to understanding our deepest turn-ons and fantasies. Morin helps us all to uncover and understand our “core erotic theme”, one of the surest pathways we have found to deeply knowing exactly what you are looking for from sex and intimacy, from there you can learn how to communicate about it and share it with a partner or partners.

Privilege and Oppression

Rebel Girls: Defining Privilege, Oppression, and Everything In Between
Why it’s important to think about privilege – and why it’s hard

Women’s Sexuality

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sexy Life

By Emily Nagoski, Ph.D

Nagoski offers an in-depth look at the social messages as well as the science around women’s sexuality. Nagoski gives women permission and a wealth of information foundational to the exploration of their own sexual desires and physiological responses.

Blogs and information on treating Low Desire and addressing Sexual Dysfunction.

 

Resources for Third Module

Men’s Sexuality

Cockfidence: The Definitive Guide to Being the Man You Want to Be and Driving Women Wild

By Celeste Hirschman and Danielle Harel

Whether you are single, dating or in a relationship, this book will show you how to attract sexual desire from women and bring them to the heights of their erotic and orgasmic potential. You will find your personal power, clarify who you are and what you want in your life, and have mind-blowing sex and passionate connections with women. Read more.

Audio Download and blog series on Psychological Erectile Dysfunction
Ejaculation Control Audio Download.

 

Resources for Fourth Module

Repair

Making Love Real: The Intelligent Couple’s Guide to Lasting Intimacy and Passion

By Danielle Harel Ph.D and Celeste Hirschman M.A.

Making Love Real will help you take both your sex life and relationship to the next level. This guide offers a comprehensive view of emotional and sexual relationship dynamics as well as practical tools for lasting transformation. Making Love Real goes beyond hot tips and tricks to help you address your foundational human needs so that you can create a deeply trusting, passionate and sustainable relationship. Read more.

 

Required Reading

The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity

By Esther Perel

Finally, a book on affairs that deals with them in an adult manner. In the State of Affairs, Esther Perel points out that affairs have always been a part of the social fabric. However, they are such a charged issue, we never take the time to look under the surface of condemnation to see the human complexity of why people have affairs and how people feel who have been betrayed. She also gives many suggestions for how to face them, heal from them, and, sometimes even have stronger relationships as a result.

The Course of Love

By Alain de Botton

Alain de Botton shares the story of a couple who take the journey from idealized romanticism and the hope of perfect fulfillment to the realities of love in long-term marriage. His writing is an amazing combination of a fictional story and a teaching manual. Read it closely and you will learn how to empathize across differences, share and listen to feelings, and understand the inner workings of the erotic mind.

Guide to Getting It On, 5th Edition

By Paul Joannides

If you are looking for a fun, hip, and detailed guide to pleasure for men, women, and couples, look no further. The Guide to Getting it On has it all. It is a must-have for every household who is interested in keeping their sex life hot.

 

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

By Bessel van der Kolk M.D

In The Body Keeps the Score van der Kolk offers an important window into the embodied experience of trauma, offering us empathy and a deeper understanding of trauma’s devastating effects. As an insider in the world of psychiatry, he challenges medicalized and cognitive approaches to trauma treatment and offers an important guide to those treatments that help traumatized clients reconnect with freedom and safety in their bodies.

 

Recommended Reading

Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving

By Betty Dodson

Betty Dodson, the godmother of masturbation, was one of the first writers to ever take on this truly taboo topic with such joyful and enthusiastic verve. In Sex for One, she talks about her women’s masturbation circles and all of the power and well-being that can come from it. She teaches techniques on how to become orgasmic through clitoral stimulation and we have incorporated many of her teachings into our coaching practice.

Opening Up: A Guide To Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

By Tristan Taormino

For couples considering some form of non-monogamous relationship, Tristan Taramino has put together a very practical, straightforward guide on styles of non-monogamy, as well as ideas about how you negotiate your relationship needs, desires and boundaries.

 

Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships

By Christopher Ryan

Have you ever wondered if humans were meant to be monogamous? In this fascinating read, Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha make a research-based case for how our prehistoric beginnings set us up to live a more non-monogamous life. If you are interested in exploring different relationship styles this book is for you.

Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence

By Esther Perel

Perel talks about the inherent tension in long-term relationships between domesticity and passion. While commitment, trust, closeness and excellent communication are the foundations of sharing a life, home, and children with another, passion needs distance, barriers, a synapse over which to jump in order for relationships to stay hot and exciting.

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

By Sue Johnson

In Hold Me Tight, Sue Johnson offers couples a new way to see the negative patterns that are replayed over and over again in relationships and how they are related to our feelings of attachment. She presents the key tools of her highly effective Emotionally Focused Therapy techniques for you to practice at home.

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life

By Marshall B. Rosenberg

If you want to make your relationship better overnight, begin using the communication techniques offered in this book. When you learn how to really listen to each other, to take responsibility for your feelings and needs and for communicating them and when you learn to truly empathize with your partner, everything becomes easier!

SM 101: A Realistic Introduction

By Jay Wiseman