The Somatica® Method is unlike anything you have ever experienced before.
While it may use some similar terms as other trainings you have taken, until you immerse yourself in The Somatica ® Method, it’s difficult to imagine that your life and relationships and the lives and relationships of others can be completely transformed through the pathway of pleasure. Through the Somatica® certification process, you will crystallize a clear career pathway success, where pleasure is your guide. This is how you get to have the rare experience of a career you can enjoy fully while helping people every single day.
The Somatica Philosophy
What We Believe In
Emotional and Erotic Intimacy are Learnable
Our society does a terrible job of teaching people the tools to have fulfilling sex and relationships. Through the Somatica Method, you and your clients will learn and practice the essential tools that lead to deep love, pleasure, and emotional connection. Our biggest joys and challenges can be found in intimate connection – so these tools are essential for people to live their best lives.
Somatica is Grounded in Reality
In the Somatica Training, we don’t create a sterile, optimal space where people feel perfectly safe – because that is not what the real world is like. Instead of creating a container that sets people up for unrealistic expectations, immersion in the Somatica Method teaches you how to deal with your life and relationships as they actually are. By learning to flow with the ups and downs, the intensity of emotions, and the large variety of people and sexual desires out in the world, you find tremendous confidence and resiliency inside yourself. It sets you up to help your clients do the same.
It’s Possible to Become Empowered in the Face of Trauma
Learning the tools of emotional self-awareness, self-soothing, and engaging others to soothe you are some of the ways you will become empowered. In turn, this allows you to empower others around their histories of trauma. Additionally, practicing boundaries and consent, expanding your capacity for pleasure, and integrating a sense of secure attachment into your nervous system helps you grow more resilient. It prepares you to take in all of the beauty intimacy has to offer.
One Size Doesn’t Fit All
While our lives are filled with societal messages about the right way to be a human and live a life, the truth of humans is that each of us is unique and beautiful in our own right. For this reason, we always remember that people are different – and we celebrate those differences. Instead of taking one person’s side, we take the side of intimacy. True intimacy requires space for differences and a balance between attachment and individuation. We help people practice acceptance – instead of trying to change a person in ways they haven’t chosen for themselves.
How Somatica Coaches Work with Their Clients
1. We Are Vulnerable With Our Clients
We bring every ounce of our humanity so people can learn about real human relating.
As a Somatica Practitioner, you will learn to share emotions and erotic energy openly with your clients. When appropriate, you will also share your foibles, processes of growth, and mistakes to help them take any perfectionistic pressure off of themselves.
We know we are not perfect. We do not have it all together. And we know we are in the midst of our own process of growth and change. No one, including us, is ever finished with personal growth. We believe that pretending to have it all figured out is the least compassionate way a person can keep their seat as a coach and facilitator.
If you pretend you have it figured out, the client believes they will someday have it all figured out too. They will spend their lives feeling less than (you or others), and a failure. So we dedicate ourselves to our own personal development, and a willingness to learn and grow constantly.
2. We Practice and Teach Self-awareness
To move ourselves – and help others move – from habitual patterns to choice-fulness, we first need to develop a level of self-awareness. The foundation of self-awareness is mindfulness. Practicing mindfulness means developing a curious and friendly witness inside ourselves. Someone who can see what we are doing with distance and perspective.
Gaining this distance and perspective from a kind and inquisitive (as opposed to critical) place allows us to collect information. It can educate us about who we are, what we want, and how we behave in times of ease, tension, triggering or stress. It is often in times of triggering or stress that we engage in habits that cause us, and the people we love, the most pain. Through mindfulness, we can learn to slow down these moments and make different choices.
This newfound level of self-awareness is key to knowing who we are and what we want. It allows us to get comfortable with differences between ourselves and others, and helps us make choices that bring love, connection, pleasure, and intimacy into our lives.
3. We Bring Compassion and Empathy
Bringing compassion means that when we sit with our clients, we look at them as capable human beings who, like us, are in need of loving support, connection, and care. We cannot save them from ever feeling pain or suffering. But we can support them in honoring what they feel, and listening to and following their inner voice.
Bringing empathy means putting ourselves in the client’s shoes, feeling with them, and helping them feel their lives more deeply. By really engaging in their perspective, we are better able to support them in following their own instincts. We do not create a person’s path for them – we help them feel free and supported in their ongoing choices.
4. We Help People Become Embodied
The process of socialization disconnects people from their bodies and their full self-expression. This includes breath, sound, sensation, movement, as well as their emotional world. As a Somatica Practitioner, you learn to listen to your own embodied voice, and help your clients do so as well.
You teach them to reconnect their emotional and corporeal worlds. You help them bridge the culturally-encouraged gap between thinking and feeling. Somatica Practitioners continuously and methodically bring people into their bodies, as a pathway to deeper self-understanding and self-expression.
When people are in their bodies, they fully experience their lives, emotions, and sensations. This helps clients stop living their life from their heads, and instead, experience integration between their intellectual and embodied knowledge.
5. We Help People Embrace Their Sexuality To Gain Confidence and Self-alignment
Because our society trivializes sex and shames us for our desires, people generally have a limited understanding of sex. They feel ashamed of who they are. This shame restricts access to our full self-expression in every area of our lives.
Shame around sexuality is so powerful and pervasive that we are highly restricted as a culture. As a result, people know very little about their sexual options, and generally experience the bare minimum. Many end up in low-sex or sexless relationships. They think that sex is just about positions, orgasms, and the new hot tip of the week. But sex is so much more than that. It is about a desire to be met and accepted, sexually as well as emotionally. This is why Somatica doesn’t assume sex will just happen. We teach you to help your clients overcome negative socialization around sex, and fill in the learning gaps.
We have found that – for sex to be great – people need to know what they want. They also need to know it’s ok to want it, and feel comfortable in pursuing it. Because no two people are alike and interested in the same thing, people need to communicate what they want and need. Negative socialization makes it difficult to know what they need – let alone honestly and openly talk about it.
Through the Somatica Method, you learn to introduce your clients to a large sexual and emotional menu. You help them identify what exactly they would like to try on that menu. In the Somatica Training and your practice, you develop a language of sex, arousal, and desire – and are able to pass this on to your clients. You encourage your clients to let go of the idea that sex should just happen – so they can approach sex as something to cultivate on an ongoing basis. By doing this, you aid your clients in creating a sex life that is right and fulfilling for them.
6. Somatica Helps People Have Healthy Relationships
Through the Somatica Method, we teach students about relationships via authentic relating and being in secure attachments with their clients. We believe that for clients to practice intimacy, there has to be a real person on the other side of the relationship. This real person is you.
You are not teaching people to be intimate in a generic sense. Instead, you are engaging in intimacy with them, and helping them do the same with one another in your office. This means you need to create a foundation of mutual trust, acceptance, and safety. You also have to let yourself feel what you feel in response to your clients. Sharing those feelings is helpful and instructive to the client, enabling them to absorb and practice authentic intimacy.