What is a Breakup Coach – and What Do They Do?

By April Hirschman | April 6, 2022

Breakups force us to reimagine our lives – without our partner being part of our future plan. It’s a very vulnerable time. A breakup coach can truly listen to you express your feelings of sadness, fear, anger and hurt. They can validate where you are in your life, and help you move on to the next stage. Breakup recovery coaches can also help you reevaluate your breakup choice or get your ex back, by asking questions, proposing different mindsets, and suggesting self-care approaches.

How a Breakup Coach Can Support You

Meeting weekly with a breakup coach (or breakup recovery coach) gives you continuity and connection, simply by knowing that they are there to support you. This creates accountability to your commitment to moving through the intense emotions of a breakup.

The best breakup coaches allow you the time and space to express yourself. They will help you craft the breakup recovery program that is right for you.

Man in session with a breakup coach

What Does a Breakup Coach Do to Help Me Get Over a Breakup?

Breakup coaching styles can vary greatly. A Somatica Coach will help you get over a breakup with body-based practices. Depending on your needs, they will take you through various practices such as:

  • A movement or meditative practice of reclaiming your body for yourself.
  • Connecting with any hurt your inner child may be feeling from change, rejection, or sadness.
  • Reconnecting with your desire and self-connection with breathwork.
  • Giving you space to vent or offload about the experience to someone who wont judge you and will be a good listener.
  • Moving beyond any shame you might have from the relationship or as a result of the breakup.
  • Supporting you reconnecting with your feelings, pleasure, and self-worth.

What Are Some Tips For Getting Over a Breakup?

In writing the self-help book Best Breakup Ever! I found several things to be helpful in recovering from a breakup:

  • Making plans with friends, especially on the weekend, so you don’t get isolated.
  • Eating patterns can change during or after a breakup, so it’s good to have some healthy snacks and easy-to-make meals on hand.
  • Send yourself loving, affirming text messages or emails.
  • Get a journal – and keep it with you at all times. Write about your feelings, hopes, worries, joys and more.
  • Write the ‘Best Letter You Never Sent’ to your ex, expressing all the things you never could at the time. This is just for you though – no need to send it to them. This way you can say everything you need to say, without having to worry about their reactions.
  • Do a “Breakup Ritual” – by yourself, with friends, or with a breakup coach. In my book I suggest many options. The simplest option is to tear a photo of you and your ex in half as you say what you are letting go of. Keep the half of the photo that is just you somewhere where you can see it. Light a candle for what you want to bring into your life, for yourself or your future love.
  • Put a “Happy Basket” under or near your bed with mementos of joy – such as a list of friends/family you can call, incense, your favorite tea bag, tissues, inspiring quotes, and anything else that is comforting to you.
  • Engross yourself in a new hobby you’ve always wanted to try – such as writing, drawing, cooking, exercise, or maybe a dance class.

How To Get My Ex Back

Some people aren’t quite ready to let go and keep asking themselves how to get my ex back. They still want to get their ex girlfriend, ex boyfriend, or ex partner back.

A breakup recovery coach can help you figure out if there is still hope to repair whatever caused the breakup. In some cases we are just fixated on our ex out of a false notion that they are our only option. We tend to want to hold on to what is familiar – even if it isn’t best for us. A good coach will help you move on in an empowered way.

In other cases, it can be a good idea to pursue a reconciliation. Especially in this fast-paced world, it is all too tempting to avoid real relationship work – and just move onto the next shiny face on an app. Often, breakups are caused by people who don’t have any awareness about the relationship strength, or what is challenging about dating them.

A sex and relationship coach can help you try for reconciliation. They will work with you on your communication skills – not only in the pursuit of reconciliation, but also for future relationships. Mostly though, they assist you in weighing all of your options, and give you the space to find out what is right for you.

How Much Do Breakup Coaches Charge? Are There Any Free Breakup Coaches?

Breakup coaches’ rates vary – depending on their experience, their location, and the length of the session. A range you can expect to find is about $100 to $300 per hour. Sessions can range from 45 minutes to 75 minutes.

Though it can seem stressful to budget for this, it can be helpful to remember that your emotional well-being affects everything else – and that you are worth it. Also, this won’t be a forever expense. Even a couple of months of coaching can make a big impact in the recovery process, and get you to a place of being able to focus again on the other parts of your life. Coaching also brings insights around communication and self-awareness that will make an impact in all your relationships.

As for finding a free breakup coach – it is possible. You can perhaps find a free online breakup coach – someone who is still in training and wants the practice. However, they may not have the experience and awareness of a professional breakup coach who has spent lots of time, honing their craft.

How Do I Find a Breakup Coach Near Me?

The good news is that due to phone, video and online coaching, you can find a breakup or relationship coach immediately and won’t have to spend time traveling to them. If you prefer an in-person approach, you can you can look for a coach near you, or choose them based on whether they seem like the right fit.

April Hirschman

About the Author:  Warm, approachable, and experienced, April Hirschman works with couples and individuals to achieve a satisfying sex life and connection to their body. With April, you enter a safe and welcoming space where it is your time to explore bringing more authenticity and intimacy in your life. She is a committed sex and relationship coach, trained as a Somatica Coach, certified Life Coach, yoga instructor, and massage therapist.

She is also the author of the Best Breakup Ever! – a self-help book about bouncing back from your breakup or divorce with humor and dignity. April hosts the relationship, dating, and memoir podcast Heart Centerfold, and sees clients in Sonoma, CA and San Francisco.

Contact April Now.