“If You Want to Work with Couples, This Training is a Must!”

I’m Elena and two years ago, I attended the Somatica Couples Training offered by Celeste & Danielle, after which I added working with couples to my practice. As a Somatica practitioner the most rewarding, and often most challenging, work I do is coaching couples who want to improve their relationship and sexual connection. I believe that relationships are one of the most profound contexts in which we grow, heal, and change. Facilitating this in my practice is incredibly fulfilling for me personally and professionally and learning the Somatica approach to couples’ work has been invaluable. Somatica Couples Training offered by Celeste & Danielle, after which I added working with couples to my practice. As a Somatica practitioner the most rewarding, and often most challenging, work I do is coaching couples who want to improve their relationship and sexual connection. I believe that relationships are one of the most profound contexts in which we grow, heal, and change. Facilitating this in my practice is incredibly fulfilling for me personally and professionally and learning the Somatica approach to couples’ work has been invaluable.

Whether a couple is coming into my practice at the beginning of their relationship with the goal of a strong start, or after years together and a desire to shift old patterns and blocks and have better sex and deeper intimacy, I have the tools and skills to support them. Here are a few of key lessons I learned from the Somatica Couples Training:

1. Skills for relationships and sex are learnable. We live in a society that is, in many ways, just now starting to talk about sex and adult attachment in functional ways. But most of us have grown up with a huge deficit when it comes to knowledge about how to feel deeply connected and to know, and go after, what we want erotically.

2. Communication is key. A significant part of couples’ work is translation – getting to the feelings, desires, and unmet needs under the story being told. Translating for couples not only helps them to see one another in a new light, it models a more loving way of communicating and empathizing with one another.

3. Radical acceptance. This means helping people see that whether it’s how you load the dishwasher or how you have an orgasm, everyone is unique – not bad or good, just different.

4. Not all of our needs will be met by one person. Part of being a great couples coach is helping a couple to understand and accept this, and to see what options are available when one or both have unmet needs. It may be learning to be with disappointment from a place of empowered choice, or it may mean exploring alternative relationship choices.
5. We all need a balanced combination of secure attachment and personal freedom to thrive. Somatica holds that both secure attachment and individuation are necessary for a healthy sense of self and a strong sense of connection. Supporting and educating couples in navigating both offers a new perspective and a lot of safety and permission.

5. We all need a balanced combination of secure attachment and personal freedom to thrive. Somatica holds that both secure attachment and individuation are necessary for a healthy sense of self and a strong sense of connection. Supporting and educating couples in navigating both offers a new perspective and a lot of safety and permission.

6. “It’s all one river,” as Danielle says. Traditional therapy has made incredible strides connecting the psyche, the body, and emotions but sex is often glaringly left out. How sex and eroticism work – psychologically, emotionally, and physiologically – is one of the most unique and valuable offerings of the Somatica Method.

7. As a practitioner, I bring my full self in service of my clients. I have learned that flirtation, play, empathy, and nonjudgmental acceptance of both partners’ experience is vital. My experiences, my authenticity and vulnerability, and my sexuality all help me attune to and track where a couple needs to go and what tools to use when.

Not only has the Somatica Couples Training given me the confidence and a solid foundation for working with couples, it played a significant part in transforming my own relationships and allowing my partner and I to shift and grow through some major life changes.

  • Elena is a Somatica Sex and Relationship Coach with offices in San Jose, San Francisco, and the East Bay. She loves to help the couples she works with have profoundly loving and sexy connections. She is also the mother of a beautiful son.
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