As founders of the Somatica Institute, we are lucky to have trained (and made friends with) some of the brightest, kindest, and most amazing people. They are truly family. We recently wanted to hear from a few of our alumni how the Somatica Training had affected their lives, work, and careers. We interviewed Christina, Dimitry and Pamela live via Zoom for an hour, while passing along questions from people interested in becoming a sex coach.
This is Part One in a series of articles exploring “How to Have a Lucrative Career as a Sex Coach”.
What Brought You to Sex Coaching?
– I actually started as a client. I was a client of Danielle’s, and was struggling with a desire discrepancy in my marriage.
I’ve always felt I had a handle on sex. But every time I went into session with Danielle, I was blown away by the things I was learning, about my body and about sexuality. And one day, I asked her “Why doesn’t everyone know this stuff?” And she said “Well, you know – we train coaches.” And so that was how I initially got into it [the career of sex coaching].
– I had a number of friends who were coaches. They had done the Somatica Training, and found it so valuable. One of them re-took it three times. That was a pretty incredible testimonial. And it made me interested.
It’s funny – when I first found out about it, I immediately thought “Oh, I’m gonna do this one day.” I looked at the training dates – and though I had an insane schedule at that time – I found I could do every single meeting. I decided that was a sign from God. Little did I know, it was really exactly where I needed to be.
– I met Celeste and Danielle about 11 years ago. At the time, their business [the Somatica Institute] had just started. It was about two or three years old – just was a baby.
I kind of just knew that this work is what I needed to be doing. I very easily convinced them that they needed a male practitioner to work with women. just as if they were working with men. It was a pretty easy sell, and here we are many years later.
How Has the Somatica Training Impacted You?
We talk a lot about how Somatica – first and foremost – is something we do for ourselves. And then after we bring it to our clients. We would really like to hear a little bit about how the Somatica Training has impacted you personally.
– I was coming out of a really intense time in my life where I had lost myself. I had thrown all of my energies into other people’s vision – and it collapsed. My confidence was just drained. I had been a personal growth coach earlier in my life, particularly around spiritual practice. But then I moved into other areas of business and it didn’t go so well.
So, when I came to Somatica, I was pretty frazzled. It was almost stealthy, the way the training ended up putting me back together again by focusing on less pressure, more pleasure.
It seemed so simple too – lessening the pressure and giving me the opportunity to feel more pleasure. I also had people [my Somatica family] cheerlead me in that process. That really helped me recover from the shame of being a human who makes really big mistakes. It gave me an impactful experience of something profound – focusing on my pleasure.
In focusing on sexuality, you heal way more than just your sex life. When you’re with a caring practitioner who really wants to know what you like, wants you to explore what feels good without shame – it’s extremely healing.
– It affected me personally first – professionally second.
I wasn’t super connected to my sexuality, and that showed up in my marriage. In my personal journey with Somatica, I realized there is this huge part of myself – the sexual part – that has been dark for so many years. And Somatica helped me get in touch with all these different pleasures.
I took the training for three consecutive years. The first year, I was practicing with groups of people, and that really helped me leaned into my personal growth.
But I also started to discover that I was unhappy in my job. I worked for Apple and Facebook, and was really good at my job. In my head, I had always acquainted “good” with enjoyment. Sort of “I’m enjoying my job because I’m good at it”.
Then I had a meeting with someone from HR at Facebook. She asked me “Why don’t you make a list of all the things you’re good at doing – and all the things you enjoy doing?” It was a powerful moment because I was actually heading into a Somatica training that weekend. And I realized – “Wait a minute, I’m good at this AND I enjoy it.”
It shifted in that moment from a personal growth journey into “Wait, I can also do this professionally!”
– The Somatica Training has personally affected me in three different ways.
One of the earliest things we learn in the training is the gift of boundaries, and how important they are. I was able to very quickly put some practical boundaries into place, in both healthy and unhealthy relationships I had. That led to much lower resentment and much better relationships across the board.
Also, taking the training and being a practitioner has really helped me with rejection. I take rejection very personally, and it can be crushing. When I see people getting rejected, it brings me so much anxiety. In this work [as a sex coach], you have to learn that there are lot of things that aren’t about yourself. And that has greatly relieved me of my anxiety around feeling rejected.
And lastly – this work has improved my personal ability to have a much better sex life. I understand my sexuality a lot more. I’m able to communicate with my partners so much better. I understand what I want, and how to ask for the other person’s needs. I’m also able to help determine the other person’s arousal – because their arousal is very important to mine.
So, yes – it’s been massively transformative for me. Thank you.
Watch the entire interview right here – or stay tuned for the second installment of our article series that will answer “How to Build a Successful Sex Coaching Practice”.