Have you ever experienced toxic shame and wondered how you can overcome it?

In this second episode of our Somatica Sessions video series, Danielle walks Dori through shame therapy and explains the psychological effects of shame.

Exploring The Roots of Shame

In her current relationship, Dori feels she is the “more needy” partner, which is not her usual experience of relationships. This causes her to feel a sense of shame for having needs at all. Danielle helps her explore the roots of this shame by taking her into an Inner Child Visualization. 

When Dori goes back into her inner child, she lands on a memory where she is left alone in her crib while her parents play with and dote over her brother. As a small child, Dori’s needs and feelings were ignored, which caused her to start to feel a sense of toxic shame. She disconnected from her needs in order to survive the feelings of hurt and rejection.

 

Celebrating Needs as Beautiful and Necessary

As Danielle brings Dori into this inner child space, she offers her loving attachment and a strong belief in the idea that Dori’s needs and feelings are very important. She helps Dori express her fears and sadness about not being able to have needs as a child, and helps her see that her needs are actually beautiful. Just because her parents did not meet her needs doesn’t mean she has to stop needing.

Once Dori begins to embrace her needs as beautiful, Danielle helps her separate this idea from the reality that those needs won’t all be able to be met in her relationship with her lover. A lot of the session is actually attachment work, as Danielle stays connected and celebratory about Dori’s needs, always embracing and never shaming Dori for having as many needs as she has.

 

Healing Shame by Staying Resilient to Unmet Needs

One key concept of the Somatica philosophy is that a person’s needs are beautiful – whether or not they get met. The truth of being human is that we all have many needs and that they won’t all get met – and they certainly won’t all get met by one person. When people realize they can celebrate their needs – instead of shaming them – they can advocate for themselves and still stay resilient when those needs are not met.  In other words, they can allow themselves to have needs – without feeling like unmet needs are proof that their partner does not love them.

Intrigued by Somatica? Learn more about the Core Training or attend one of our free intros!

We are excited to announce that the Somatica Institute can now count itself among the elite group of BBS Approved CEU Providers.

bbs approved ceu provider

If you are a mental health professional in search of a CEU for MFT course, perhaps you’d like to add sex and intimacy tools to your practice.

For both couples work and individual work, having the skills to help people embrace their sexual desires can greatly enhance your ability to support your client’s life. We can provide you with the tools to assist your clients with deepening attachment, know what turns them on, ask for what they want, and assert their boundaries.

These training are also suitable for Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSW) and Licensed Professional Clinical Counselors (LPCC) looking for continuing education units.

CEU Approval

In order to get CEU approval, we went through an in-depth application process with the Board of Behavioral Sciences (BBS). As a result, we are now CAMFT CEU approved (this is approval through the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists). The Somatica Institute offers CAMFT CEUs for classes to help licensed practitioners work with clients around issues related to sexuality and relationships.

CEU Approval Guidelines

As a BBS approved CEU provider, the Somatica Institute and like organizations must follow particular professional guidelines. They include such requirements as providing a designated program administrator, and instructional methods that actively engage the learner. Thus, if you are looking for CEU for MFT classes, you can be assured our classes have been assessed, and follow these and all other guidelines.

How to Get Your Units

When you apply for a Somatica Training for Professional Development, make sure to let us know that you would like to receive LCSW, LPCC or LMFT continuing education units. We will track the hours you attend the course and you can get CEU credits for them. That’s all you need to do.

So, for a more holistic approach to supporting your clients in every area of their lives, check out our Core Coach Training on Sex & Relationships and join our merry group of certified coaches.