Session 1: Foundations of Emotional Intimacy
We will begin our journey together by getting to know each other, exploring and immersing in the Somatica Mindset. In order to experience the most transformation and learning, we will create a safe container and a foundation of vulnerability, mindfulness and empathy. We will develop a curious, open-minded approach while exploring embodiment, sexuality and relationships including both love (attachment) and acceptance (individuation).
Embodiment and Mindfulness
You will lead and be lead through experiences of embodiment, boundaries and the releasing of shame so that you can grow, deepen your community and become an adept practitioner. The foundation of intimacy and sexuality is being connected and responsive to your body’s needs and messages, which means getting in touch with your body as a source of empowerment and information.
You will experience the essential nature of boundaries and how they will help you gain empowerment and healthy relationships. This means learning to identify them and communicate them lovingly and effectively. You will get to explore your boundaries and learn how to offer boundaries in a way that invites connection and deeper intimacy.
Shame is a force that all of us contend with in our lives which comes up particularly strongly around sexual and relational issues. You will begin to explore and move beyond shame allowing you more deeply into your body and your pleasure. Moving through shame allows you to connect vulnerably and experience a greater sense of personal freedom.
Attachment, Individuation and the Inner Child
In Somatica, we emphasize the balance between every person’s need for attachment (love) and individuation (acceptance), in this first module you will explore your own history and patterns around attachment. You will learn how to deepen into attachment with your loved ones and to create a healthy attachment-based relationship with your clients. You will see how childhood hurts shaped your attachment style and what you need to heal so you can feel secure.
- Making Love Real: The Intelligent Couple’s Guide to Lasting Intimacy and Passion by Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman.
- Listen to Brene Brown’s Men Women and Worthiness: The Experience of Shame and the Power of Being Enough available on Amazo.com.
- The Wikipedia entry on Attachment – you are welcome to read it all but we suggest you read everything up to History (ending reading at Attachment in Adults).
- Mating In Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel
- Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart by John Welwood
- Irritable Hearts: A PTSD Love Story by Mac MacClelland
Session 2: What Turns You On?, Your History, and Women’s Emotional and Sexual Empowerment
In our second deep dive together you will discover, explore and understand your unique sexual template, how it was created and what your specific emotional needs are around sexuality. You will learn to support your fellow students and clients in discovering theirs as well. You will take a dive into your sexual history and see how to gain insight into your own and other’s growth opportunities by learning more about where they’ve already been and what they’ve tried.
As a group, we will create a space where we can all taste the embodiment of women’s sexuality. Looking at women’s socialization with a critical eye, we will talk about how women’s emotionality is devalued and their sexuality repressed robbing women of so much of their power potential. We will teach you how to help women (including yourself if you are a woman) reclaim and revitalize their emotional and erotic selves.
You will learn practical tools to help women embody their sexuality and move beyond the fairytale that poisons our chances of having emotional and sexual connection and fulfillment.
Tools include sharing feelings lovingingly, asking for what you want relationally and sexually, and showing out your sexuality in a connected way. We will also talk about sexual dysfunction (low desire, inability to orgasm, pelvic pain, etc.) with specific tools on how to work with these challenges.
- The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment by Jack Morin
- Making Love Real: The Intelligent Couple’s Guide to Lasting Intimacy and Passion by Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman – Messages to women
- Your Brain on Sex: How Smarter Sex Can Change Your Life by Stanley Siegel
- Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
- Sex for One: The Joy of Self-Loving by Betty Dodson
- Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts: Using the Power of Pleasure to Have Your Way with the World (How to Use the Power of Pleasure) by Regena Thomashauer
Session 3: Men’s Emotional and Sexual Empowerment
This weekend will be a deep dive into men’s emotional and sexual empowerment. We will explore what kind of sexual, emotional and relationship challenges socialization creates for men and how everyone, men and women alike, are impacted by these messages. Through this process you will find your compassion for men and the pressures they are under to initiate, perform and provide.
There are three parts to men’s sexual growth. The first is accepting themselves and their own, embodied desires. The second is to reconnect with their emotions which have been so repressed by the expectations that men be strong and invulnerable. The third is to help men gain confidence about themselves as amazing lovers. This means taking a journey through the hottest sexual movies and teaching men skills in touching as well as playing with psychological arousal. You will also get specific tools to address sexual dysfunction (erectile dysfunction, ejaculation control).
- Cockfidence: The Extraordinary Lover’s Guide to Being the Man You Want to Be and Driving Women Wild by Celeste Hirschman and Danielle Harel.
- Making Love Real: The Intelligent Couple’s Guide to Lasting Intimacy and Passion by Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman – messages to men
- Guide to Getting It On by Paul Joannides (An important book to have to be able to talk freely and non-judgmentally about sexual desire and acts such as cunnilingus, blow-jobs, anal sex, etc.)
- The teleclasses on ED and Early Ejaculation from our website: https://www.celesteanddanielle.com/shopping/
- SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman
Session 4: Turning Relationship Challenges into Opportunities for Intimacy and Marketing Seminar
One of the most important skills you need to have to maintain long-term, emotionally and sexually intimate relationships is to be able to handle moments of challenge, discomfort and conflict in a way that increases as opposed to deteriorating your connections.
In order to do this, you must be aware of your triggers and the kinds of reactive responses you have when you are triggered. You will learn to recognize when you are triggered and explore different tools to stay connected and repair even when you or your classmates are triggered. You will experiment with triggers and map your own and others triggered reactions and gain the skills you need to come back (and bring others back) to a grounded place.
Understand the ways you have been hurt can give you great insight into your triggers and gentleness around them as well as empathy for the triggers of the people you love. You will learn how these hurts can cause you to to develop protective habits that rob you of connection. Through awareness, self-soothing skills and relational tools you will learn how to continually vote for connection instead of protection.
You will learn how to share your feelings vulnerably as opposed to blaming, shaming or accusing. You will practice loving listening, shared inner child care and other connection tools to repair and deepen intimacy in challenging moments. You will also learn more advanced tools to balance attachment and individuation in your own lives and to help your clients to have both of these core needs met.
In addition to being a training that is deeply personally transformative, some of you may be wanting to build a career or coaching practice after you graduate. Many trainings give you coaching skills but do not deal with the business aspects of building a practice. We know that Somatica will change your life and that you will have something profound to offer your clients and we also know that marketing requires skills that are different than coaching skills. During the 4th module, we dedicate special time in the training to offer you the skills and help you build the confidence you need to have a personally fulfilling and prosperous practice.
- Making Love Real: The Intelligent Couple’s Guide to Lasting Intimacy and Passion by Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman
- Read this from a Non-Violent Communication Website: http://www.personalgrowthcourses.net/stories/nvc.nonviolent_communication
- You are welcome to read the book Non-Violent Communication as well if you like, but the website explains the basics very succinctly.
- Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino
- Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha